There comes the pallbearer

Here comes the pallbearer

He is the man in the mirror

Where the mockingbirds are

Do you see the flapping wings?

This is the part

Where you believe in

What I believe in...

If you read this line

And this one

Then you are many steps behind me...

The pallbearer

Came with his hands bare

My pallbearers

Are smiling...

Where I am

Is where I am

The mirror is shattered

Now your eyes are my mirrors

A thousand errors

But you think you are right

The mirrors

The mockingbirds

You are never alone

The bearer of my body totters

Musk

Hoor al ain

Green birds...

I’m not dead...!

I’m sorry mother

But this world isn’t what I wish for us

I’m sorry mother

But I’ve to sell my life for our jannah…

My brothers will understand

That my death will bring good

To a chosen 70

But I’m sure my love

In the cold of Ternopil

Will never understand

Why my pallbearers

Came too soon...

I’m sorry

But I can’t have a life

When the Ummah is bleeding...

Untitled Expressions

I think it’s going to be one hell of a trip. Pockets are full and the tank is filled up with fuel. My bags are all packed up and I took a camera just in case. It’s a vacation trip, it’s a work trip, I’m really not sure what it is… I’m leaving my home to live far away; where I’ll be nothing but a simple immigrant.

I think it, hoping I get to live it. Do my words always have to make sense? Does life have to be as straightforward as directions? There is what I mean when I write, there is what you think I mean when you read and there is what I want you to think…

I’m walking through the white sands of the filthy beach. Barefooted. My thoughts are at base. No rolls, no fire… just those beautiful words in Arabic.

My love for you is an illusion. It’s a picture I painted in my thoughts. Amnesia. I lost the image, I’ve lost you. Maybe there was never a you because you were never the you I thought I knew. You lied. If I really meant that much to you, you wouldn’t have let me slip away.

You gladly shoo me. Tell me to run along… you watch and smile because he is right behind you, holding you so close. Did I ever exist? You don’t seem to exist here. You never did have a place in my heart because you sold it to my solitude.

I think it’s time I walk away. I’m coming after you because I don’t want to die here. I want you in my arms when I die. You belong in my arms. Love, fear, hope… I still believe you are probably the only solution to my worried heart…  

Derailed .... ....... .....

I wrote a poem for you but I couldn’t tell you it was a poem for you because there should always be a ‘be’ before the ‘cause’. If you are following the train of thoughts then shall I then call you the rail? Or are you better off as the steam engine train itself? My train of thoughts have been derailed...

The many times I look into your eyes and the many times I look away because the thought of you is like the thought of a teaspoon filling a bucket. I don’t care what lay ahead. I don’t know what my words mean but I hope I understand what these words mean.

I’m here but I’m there. You are there but you are here... I’m working up a puzzle. I’m building a maze through my cardiac muscle. Who you are doesn’t matter. It never did and it never will.

What matters is what I am when your voice evades my thoughts...

Are you still following?

Good!

Now read it all over again because I wrote it for you... 

What have you achieved?

I’d like to tell you how amazing the past few days have been for me. I’ve spoken to so many new people, including someone I’d been secretly crushing on for about two years. I’ve challenged myself beyond my expectations. I successfully did 5 push ups because a couple of girls cheered me on. Truth is I barely hit 3 when I’m alone in my room. Before the past few days I thought I was a bad actor but now I’ve second thoughts about that.

At this point I’m quite sure you think I’ve lost it, let me assure you that I’m only trying to draw a fine point in your mind.

You’ve to realize that I’ve made you read over a hundred words. I believe I’ve achieved a lot now so I’m retiring to bed. What have you achieved?

...into this space

4.

Staring into this space and looking into the reasons why there is too much within that isn’t without. Thoughts are strong, they could be stronger, but actions are weaker than the thoughts that perceived them. We live but we die each day until we are dead. Listen to me but hear the sounds that give you life. The people we are is the facade of the people that were. Are there questions that my questions haven’t answered? Or are there answers that my questions contradict? Do you know what you are hearing? Did you understand what you heard?

To the many questions of life I suggest you simply smile while your mind, body and soul settle the dispute within...   

But into this space, and into this space, for into this space there are more questions than there are answers... 

All i could say

 

Riddles on my mind, questions for the lady who stole my thoughts

when she spoke...

My mind went Deeper than the depth of the squirrel’s hole

But most shallow were my actions when she spoke...

I didn’t stare at her for too long

I didn’t have to raise my head to watch in admiration

For her voice drew the most detailed images in my mind...

And when I had the chance to tell her how much of a fool her voice turned me into

All I could say was “I love your voice, you have a beautiful voice...”

Words of the coward in me to the stranger that stole my mind...

I doubt her voice will cease to plunge me into the abyss of tomfoolery

But I can pretend that this stranger means no more than a painting at the gallery

The big lies I tell myself...

Whoever believed there existed an elf

Or elves and the whole Santa story!

If she is a lie I’m bound to live

Then my thoughts I will give!

To the paintings her voice creates in my thoughts;

I will be the millionaire collector

But like a convicted debtor

I will keep my distance...

I might be just like you!

3.

The world around me is moving too fast. My hands are stretched out. I need to catch up but I keep falling back. I’m losing the purpose of my existence. There is me and there is the me that lives on my desires. I don’t know how much of the things I’ve been through really matter. Did I find myself doing those things because they were right for me or because it’s all written? Each day a thousand questions flood my straying thoughts. I want to live in my own world; a world where there is me and only me with all the things I love. That could be just one place, heaven! No matter how hard I try I still don’t feel like I deserve my desires.

To the lips that bark at me and the lips that wag at my back and the lips that spit praises of me; I’m no more than a struggling young man, I don’t confirm the rumours about me and I won’t accept the praises... all I can do is smile and keep my secrets to myself.

To the eyes that claim to see the other side of me; I’m no three dimensional image...

So just watch, just look, for I might be just like you...