Cock-Shithole Unions

After successfully writing a sequel to The University Required Phone, I went cherry picking in the fields of my old classic top 10% blog posts. A lot has changed since I last wrote most of them. Out of the over 60 posts they have remained as the most popular 10% for a long while. This time I’m rewriting ‘I Need A Woman’. It’s only normal that I choose to work on this next- considering the fact that every man needs a woman.

So even before I jump into why I’m writing this, I just want to mention a little observation I made about something worth observing that I actually observed while observing other things I had intended observing before chancing upon that little observation. Oh yes, life isn’t like a box of chocolate bars so you don’t get the ease that comes with eating chocolate in real life – even if you do.

Great! Since you’ve made that little observation too then me thinks us is good to go! Don’t mention grammar, or that crap about grammar. I’m supposed to have that thing they call poetic license- that thing that lets me justifiably make mistakes and get away with it. Because, hey! I just said hey! And there is no, absolutely no – English enforcer that can strip me of my poetic license because hey! I have a problem with why you can actually have a problem when there is really no problem considering the fact that that little observation is what got us here.

I visited a couple of blogs and I noticed a trend. Some bloggers be like “I haven’t blogged in a while…blah blaaah blaaaah… “…writers block… hah haaah haaaah” bbblllll, %$£%^^()&^$$”£$%^&&**. Glad I got that off my chest. Words can’t explain how these things find their way up here. Keep that little observation in mind – I’m not done, not yet. But yes of course every man needs a woman. Except the biologically and socially awfully misdirected ones who prefer their women without ‘wo’. The dude writing this must be homophobic to the core! Let’s label him and marginalize him because the shithole loving cocks can’t stand those who just won’t stoop so low to legitimize cock-shithole unions.

How on earth did women go wrong that some men decided to hit on fellow men? How can you not love a woman; they are overly sentimental, extremely dramatic, always nagging, never wrong and entirely right always – just don’t disagree with them else all this won’t make any sense. So which man still prefers a man to a woman after I painstakingly listed all those unique features?  See how that little observation is gently creeping out?

What?

No?

Not seeing anything?

The little observation is; the world is just a messed up place. That’s how come it’s now socially wrong to frown upon cock-shithole unions. But no, I shan’t hide my resentment and utter disgust! And yes I’ll always be homophobic. Call me backward, closed minded and whatever label that has been created for people like me but I just won’t support an act that even horny he-goats won’t think of.

Now you see why I need a woman?

No, No… No… see why every man needs a woman?